Let's take a quick departure from tools, tips and tricks, and speak about Relationship Capital -- a subject aggressively pioneered and pursued by Adam J. Kovitz, the CEO of THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW), and a friend to many, many people.... some of whom underestimate him...some of whom mistake his kindness and willingness to listen for weakness. They couldn't be further from the truth.
The article which follows originally was posted (earlier today) in my professional blog, DOUGLAS CASTLE. I hope that you find resonance with it:
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I have heard it said that betrayal is a rape of the heart. Anyone who has had his or her trust violated by a "trusted" confidante which latter individual either 1) revealed sworn secrets to a third party, or 2) suddenly deserted that person, switched allegiances and even denounced that person in a betrayal made public to a third party or parties (for whatever reason) has felt this terrible sense of violation...of utter, shattering disillusionment.Each of us, no matter how noble or cowardly, has an instinctive distaste for tattletales ("snitches," "rats," "informants," "whistleblowers," or even gossips) and turncoats. Our psyches are torn by these desperate persons and opportunists. Even a police detective or a prosecuter despises the informants who provide information which is their "stock in trade" to indict and convict other persons. We, in the Great Western Culture, depend upon these compromised persons to support our system of "justice" and to provide us with "intelligence." But, in the end, the thought of them sickens us.
There are two good reasons for this: namely, that 1) they would just as easily betray or inform on us, and cannot be trusted, and 2) because they are weak -- and people despise weakness, in and of itself.
If you have gained advantage by breaching someone else's trust, you have proven yourself untrustworthy, will never be trusted in the future, and will likely be used by the next "parasite" and discarded after your immediate utility is gone.
Part of your credibility rests upon your reputation for 1) being able to keep a secret (even under pressure), and 2) being steadfastly loyal...especially in the eyes of third parties who would seek to denigrate, prosecute or persecute your colleagues or friends.
Your Relationship Capital increases with your demonstrated reputation for keeping your own counsel and for being loyal.
Two questions:
1. Can you be trusted?
2. Are you loyal?
And, two more:
1. Can your new contact be trusted?
2. Will your new contact remain loyal?
Your value as a Human Asset, whether, maven, connector or promoter is dependent upon these factors. Don't be foolish enough to think otherwise.
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Faithfully,
Douglas Castle
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