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Saturday, November 01, 2008

NOW ANYONE CAN GET RICH! (EVEN YOU!)

Dear Friends (and Ed):

Greetings one and all! It's time for a diversion. It might be a pleasant change of pace from listening to the financial and investment pundits deny an obvious economic depression by calling it other things (can you say "euphemism"?), including "adjustment", "profit-taking", "credit crunch", et cetera. [This is not unlike calling an elephant turd an eclair]. Ah...but I digress...

Let me take a moment to speak about INTERNAL ENERGY PLUS, just for the purpose of this diversion (and also because of the vast sum of money they promised me if I blogged them).

In INTERNAL ENERGY PLUS, we achieve goals by plotting a linear path and proceeding in increments. We do this because it is logical, and because it does not violate the laws of physics, physiology or human psychology. Ultimately, that is precisely why our approach works. Each of our training/ learning modalities is a logical tool. It is very simple. Visit http://theinternalenergyplusforum.blogspot.com/ to learn more.

Having said this, I wanted you to take a glance at some of the "alternatives" which are being offered by the tankerful every single day. Most of these advertisers (ironically) are struggling to earn even a modest income with the junk that they are raving about. Please look at some of these and smile -- even the wording is enough to turn a literate, reasonably intelligent person away. Here they are (cue drumroll):

Get out the vomit bags...


Messages In This Digest (25 Messages), Each One More Idiotic Than the Previous One!

1.1.
UNSELFISH WEALTH From: Advertising
1.2.
UNSELFISH WEALTH From: Advertise
2a.
Put Your Business in The Spotlight FREE! From: Advertising
2b.
Put Your Business in The Spotlight FREE! From: Advertising
3.1.
Would you like to make a six figure income from home? From: Advertising
4.1.
Safelistology - The Dark Science of Safelist Marketing From: lay
5a.
EARN $200+ PER DAY TAKING SIMPLE PHOTOS IN YOUR LOCAL AREA! From: denzel
6.1.
Make $1500 Per Day Doing Nothing! From: Leo
7.1.
Earn Up To $423 A Day Taking Online Surveys! From: milyoner
8.1.
Earn up tp $860+/week to start From: Alan
9.1.
Blast Your Ad To Over 3,000,000 Websites Daily! From: asuman
10.1.
Email 81 Million Targeted Prospects Monthly! From: Sam
11.1.
Web Traffic Has Never Been Easier! From: fiona
12a.
Make thousands of dollars in Google Cash monthly! From: Linda
13.1.
BLAST YOUR AD TO 5,000 groups for only $5.95 or less! From: Poster
14.1.
Click to Get Paid For What You Think! From: asuman
15.1.
100,000 Real Visitors Waiting! From: Tom
16.
We want to invest $30,000 in your Solid Future Income (SFI) Business From: advertisingandspotlighting@yahoogroups.co
17.
How to avoid home business failure!, 11/1/2008, 12:00 pm From: advertisingandspotlighting@yahoogroups.co
18.1.
E-Mail to 96 Million Targeted Recipients Per Month! From: Korum
19a.
Recipe, Advertising & TV Groups From: Dorie
20a.
Candle Lover's Dream Business. From: advertise1051@advertiseonline4u.com
21.
Forget everything that your Uplines have told you. From: Advertising
22.1.
One size does not fit all!! From: Advertise
23.1.
ONLINE MONEY MACHINE! No Selling or From: Advertise

####

My personal favorites are always the ones which make claims along these lines:

"This ----- can't stop making you money, even if you want it to!"

"Make a fortune WHILE YOU SLEEP!"

"I make thousands every week, working from my kitchen table in my underwear!"

"Stupid and broke? This system works for ANYONE!"

"When I first heard about this quintuple multiplicative guaranteed sixfold matrix MLM program, I said, 'Nah, that's impossible.' That was until my friend showed me the gleaming new Rolls Royce in his driveway."

"Don't read this unless you are prepared to be RICH!"

"Dark, covert, underground secret hypnotic technique makes everyone do your bidding!!!"

####

I hope that you enjoyed the show. Now run down to your local bank branch (since they are flush with low-cost cash since the "bailout"), and ask for a debt consolidation loan. We all need exercise.

All the best.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle
DOUGLAS CASTLE at http://www.linkedIn.com/in/douglascastle
THE GLOBAL FUTURIST
THE NATIONAL NETWORKER
HUMANITAS MAXIMUS
INTERNAL ENERGY PLUS

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ITEMS OF INTEREST

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    LIST OF LINKS



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