Dear Friends:There are several places to visit and sights to see. Alright....I'll confess...there are several sites to visit and recent articles to see.
Today is 22 November, 2008: Please be absolutely certainthat you read the articles posted during these last two weeks on each of the following sites, hyperlinked below. After you have read these (and you WILL enjoy them), you will be thinking vigorously. sadly, you will still not be able to answer the question, "If knowledge is power, then how come people always say 'less is more' ?"
Before you view the batch of them, please take a peek at THE NATIONAL NETWORKER SURVEYS, and participate in the first three polls if you are involved in social and business networking. While you are there you might want to get your free subscription to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER, if you don't already have one. Thank you.
Now that you have reviewed all of these articles, rest a moment, catch your breath, and take a brief break for humor. Since I write this blog, I am allowed to be funny. You might be funny, too, but that doesn't truly matter, as you are not writing this blog.
I have never been to Australia, but the following was sent to me by my dear friend Gabe, the Founder (with a capital "F") of the Westchester-Putnam Guitar Society. Thank you, Gabe!
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Subject: Questions about Australia. These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website & the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour...
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never>>> seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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G'Day, Mates!
Faithfully,
Douglas Castle
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Miasma: Grouply, Yahoo, Google, McCain, Obama, command, leadership, decsionmaking, The National Networker, Internal Energy Plus, Humanitas Maximus, The Internal Energy Plus Forum, control, public service, inspiration, survival, uniting, dividing, conquest, growth, personal growth, self-improvement, personal development, networking, Mixx, Zimbio, Digg, Technorati, Associated Press, LA Times, Fox News, Reuters, alpha, education, leadership crisis, personal power, CIOF, CHILDREN'S INTERNATIONAL OBESITY FOUNDATION, humanitarianism, The Global Futurist, The Internationalist Page, Braintenance, CIOF On Current Events, blogs, bloggers, news, news releases, Douglas castle, intelligence, cognitive enhancement, advice, help, psychology, focus, technology, seduction, manipulation, debate, education, hypnosis, NLP, RET, articles, Linked In, Microsoft, SEO, fitness, longevity, creativity, meditation, media, YouTube, organizational engineering, winning, success, telepathy, trends, predictions, commentary, blogosphere, relationships, children. obesity, independence, mind, brain, thought, entrainment, Facebook, Naymz, downloads, CDs, tapes, instruction, competition, martial arts, politics, management, widget, blidget, social networking, nanotechnology, weight-loss, humor, alternative energy, philanthropy, not-for-profit organizations, volunteering, interrogation, trade, commerce, personal dynamics, personal coaching, leadership training, mind-body connection, nootropics, longevity, social groups, business groups, marketing, ecommerce, Feedburner, RSS, newsletters, writers, co-operative advertising, leverage, survivalism, viral marketing, public relations, advertising, promotion, image-development, videos, gaming, AI, social awareness, pursuasion, theology, logic, alliances, reputation, ratings, polls, standing, positioning, self-help, metrics, design, interactivity, campaign, Wikis, chat rooms, interactive forums, mentoring, modeling, mind expansion, brainwaves, motivation, current events, press releases, keywords, adwords, economics, geopolitical economics, conflict resolution, activism, achievement, subconscious, collective mind,,,
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