Weakness - Dealing With It
Weakness is almost universally hated by everyone. It is just "politically incorrect" to admit this. Don't show weakness, unless it is a calculated invitation to greater intimacy, getting the other party to speak (to disarm and "open up"), or to demonstrate a bit of passion or compassion in order to "humanize yourself" to others in certain group or team situations.
Behind an illusory wall of understanding and empathy often lies an accumulating resentment or disgust for the weak. This is a Part of the Human Character that you should always be aware of when you seek to confide, to confess or to befriend.
Strength is feared, envied and admired. It is a coveted characteristic. People, power and resources are attracted to strength -- although they don't always admit this fact openly, either. We're lied to at an early age and told to be champions of the underdogs, and those who have less. The result of this childhood moral fiction is that those of us who support and try to help the underdog soon find ourselves being in the center of the pack of them, and exhibiting all of the traits associated with habitual lacking, losing and being victimized. We become prey. We become judged by the company that we keep.
The best that we can do is to respond to weakness with the direct, almost militant encouragement (or even admonition) to become strong. Too much or too long a display of compassion, empathy or pity becomes an enabler for weakness. Weakness grows when it is pandered to. It's better to help others to build their muscles (metaphorically) than to give them a crutch or a soft shoulder; these "fixes" lead to atrophy and disability.
If you want to help the weak -- teach them how to be strong. Don't waste more than a few seconds of time on commiseration, Invest the time in bootstrapping or training.
Don't be weak, and don't enable others to continue in a pattern of exhibiting weakness. It is neither to your benefit or to the benefit of those whom you've chosen to help if you patronize weakness.
I make no moral judgment. I am not personally without feelings of pity, compassion and vulnerability. I just believe that its better to arm my readers and my friends with the truth.
Get strong. Be strong. Stay strong.
Faithfully,
Douglas Castle
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